I voted for Shiv Khera even though I knew he would probably lose his deposit. Many in my family asked me why I was wasting my vote. But I couldn't bring myself to vote for a party some of whose candidates stand accused in the 1984 riots. Nor could I vote for the rabid fascists. I voted not from the left side of the brain, but with my conscience and my heart. Human beings are driven by feelings, not analyses. A vote based on conscience is not wasted. Obviously, vast multitudes of people also voted from their hearts.

The media is replete with analyses of the election results. Statistical, psychological, philosophical - all kinds of analyses have been done and will continue to be done. Convoluted explanations will be offered. Pundits have been trying to analyse every little fact, figure and turn of events to look cleverer than the next analyst. Every newspaper and magazine has advice for the PM, the FM and the government. However, the odds are that, as always, the needs of the man who voted will be ignored. Because most politicians are only focussed on winning votes, not really doing anything for the people of the country. If the two objectives coincide, well and good. Otherwise, guess which one takes precedence?

I probably speak for several million ordinary, hardworking, honest, sincere and voiceless people. My feelings are like hundreds of multi-coloured pills that fill a glass bottle. It is difficult - if not impossible - to decide which is the most dominant colour. But a closer look will show feelings of the following hues: happiness, anger, elation, sadness, disgust, shame, hope, frustration and fear.

I am happy that nice guys don't always finish second. We have a prime minister who combines integrity, honour and intellect. This is rare in a country where politics smells like a sewer. I am elated that there is actually a politician who can see beyond herself and has the grace to renounce power for a larger cause. I am happy that the fascist, divisive, fundamentalist party has been defeated. I am happy that I live in a vibrant democracy. When compared to our neighbours, there is much that we have to be grateful for. But now what? And then the other colours begin to surface.

I feel ashamed when I see my countrymen grovelling before Sonia, begging her to be the prime minister. I feel vicarious humiliation when I see men and women of intellect morphing into sycophantic servants of a pseudo royal family. I feel disgust when those who were in power till yesterday threaten to shave their heads if Sonia were to become PM. Would they shave their heads to mourn for the thousands of people killed in communal riots by their own compatriots?

I am saddened by the fact that millions of Indians are still so ignorant, so naive that they can be led to believe that only Sonia can save India. I am saddened by the ego and hubris of those who have won, by Pranab Mukherjee's small-mindedness when he turns down the finance ministry on the grounds that he is senior to Manmohan Singh. A lesson in selflessness! I am disgusted by the wrangling over ministerial portfolios. Being an avid watcher of Discovery and National Geographic channels I am tempted to liken some of the politicians to hyenas and vultures. I am saddened by the gracelessness of the BJP in defeat. I am also saddened that Congressmen still feel they have to continue to eulogise Indira Gandhi who, for political expediency and personal power, almost destroyed the moral fibre of India and the institutions that protect the ordinary man.

Politics is one profession where you need neither qualifications nor any track record. I feel insulted by the political parties who put up actresses and actors as candidates. Obviously we are taken to be morons (and maybe we are) that we vote for the Smriti Iranis and the Govindas of this world. Other than Sunil Dutt who has demonstrated his dedication to public causes and is an unusual actor in that he is intelligent, I dread to think what will become of this country if such jokers are in positions of power. What have Vinod Khanna or Shotgun Sinha contributed to the ministries they headed? While we certainly need youthful leaders to take over from the doddering old men, must we have greenhorns whose only qualifications are that they are either sons of politicians or actors in idiotic TV soaps?

I am angry. Angry because irresponsible people shoot their mouths when they should be keeping them firmly shut. But to ask a politician to keep his mouth shut is like asking a fish to live on dry land. Sleazebags who have contributed nothing but dubious practices to the country call Arun Shourie an economic terrorist. One has every right to agree or disagree with his policies, but that government is now out of office. Maturity demands that you exercise restraint and good sense.

I am frightened when I see that many of our ministers have charge sheets against them. I am terrified that one of them may in fact succeed in carrying out his threat and become the PM, and then all of India will be like Bihar! Does being a democracy mean that crooks have to be accommodated in positions of power? My inability to do anything makes me despair.

But somewhere behind my deep-rooted cynicism, I still nurture hope that somebody like Dr Manmohan Singh will help clean up politics. I hope that my old schoolmate Kapil Sibal will remember the lessons of moral science taught to us by the Christian Brothers. When Kapil said that his happiness is rooted in the fact that his father would be proud of him, I also hoped all his actions in future will be with an eye on the feelings of his children and grandchildren.

I have to confess that my worries and fears far outweigh my hopes. But then hope triumphs over experience.

Nripjit Singh (Noni) Chawla

This article originally appeared in Business World - 14 June 2004